Knowing Your Call…

“I know my call despite my faults,
And despite my growing fears…
But I will hold on hope…
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways…”  – Mumford and Sons

I can think of few more gratifying things in life than when someone you love responds with great joy at seeing you again.  Living a couple of thousand miles away from family, as I do, can facilitate that.  And even on a daily basis, I’m accustomed to the happy tail wagging of my dog (as coonhounds are expressive characters by their very goofy nature) and the annoyed yet relieved chatter of my cat when I walk in the door.  It’s good for the heart.  I am not accustomed to such a reception by my horse, whose stoic and proud demeanor keeps him from revealing any overt loyalty or affection.  So it was especially gratifying – and may have contributed to the delighted laugh that escaped my own lips – when I walked up to his paddock the other day and his head snapped to attention and he broke into a brisk jog to meet me at the gate.  For a rescue horse who has struggled with soundness issues, this jog was kind of a big deal.  (Editor’s note: I will reluctantly confess now that I was holding his feed bucket and two flakes of hay at the time, but I’m quite certain he hadn’t even *seen* that yet.  So don’t steal my joy please). 

Not losing sight of these little moments of gratification is important.  When I look at the big picture of my life and consider the things I have yet to do and accomplish and be, I can become easily discouraged.  But I’m already so fortunate to have been a part of some incredible causes – even if my direct role in them felt insignificant or paltry compared to the overall work that was being accomplished.  I know, logically, that it’s not.  But when you feel like you have a call on your life to do so much more, it’s easy to feel a bit insignificant at times.

But what if that “call,” at that moment, has as narrow a scope as just one life?  What if  my loyalty and dedication to my stubborn and beautiful rescue horse is all about fulfilling that call…even if it’s just for right now?  I may not be in the trenches every day, saving animals from the brink of death, or feeding a small village in South Africa, but it doesn’t mean that doing all I can do, right now, isn’t just as imperative.

If I can hold on to that moment, when my horse eagerly trotted up to me, and know what it really represents — ok, yes, he wanted dinner, but more so that he equated me, a human who based on his history he has little reason to trust, with something good and loving – then it’s enough motivation to keep going.  It’s easy to let outside voices and disheartening life experiences talk us out of fulfilling our call.  People who don’t understand your passion, who don’t think you’re capable… none of that can take away from the good you can do.